On
Marriage
June
2, 2013
Fr.
Philip Eberhart
This
morning I want to explore the Word and our human and our religious history
around the subject of marriage.
As
we begin a wedding we are greeted with these words, familiar to most of us.
Dearly
beloved: We have come together in the presence of
God to witness and bless the
joining together of this man and
this woman in Holy Matrimony. The bond
and covenant of
marriage was established by God in creation, and our Lord
Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and
first miracle at
a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us
the mystery of the
union between Christ and his Church, and
Holy Scripture commends it to be
honored among all people.
The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and
mind is
intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort
given
one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is
God's will, for the
procreation of children and their nurture
in the knowledge and love of the
Lord. Therefore marriage is
not to be entered into unadvisedly or
lightly, but reverently,
deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for
which it
was instituted by God.
I
want to consider just a few of the phrases here as we begin as this paragraph
forms the basic teaching of the church on marriage:
BOND
AND COVENANT, ESTABLISHED BY GOD IN CREATION
It
is evident from any kind of reading of Genesis and the creation accounts that
the intention of God in creation was for the man and woman to be together, to
form a union and to bring forth children.
This
was God’s idea and His design. And
we can argue from the very physical design of men and women, that these
physical features were intended for God’s purpose, and are so designed to
propagate the race and assure the ongoing joy and pleasure that is inherent in
marriage.
Our
sexuality is a gift of God! It is
clear that though God is spirit and as such has no physical sexual
characteristics, we can see from scripture that the IMAGO DEI, the image of God
includes both male and female,
According
to Genesis 1:26-27:
“Then
God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them
have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and
over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that
creeps on the earth." So God
created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and
female he created them.”
The
image of God is a reflection of the persons of the Trinity and contains the
essence of both male and female.
It is in the coming together of male and female in marriage, an
indissoluble bond between a man and a woman for a lifetime – created by God –
that we see the most complete picture of the life of the Godhead – Father, Son
and Holy Spirit! A Holy Family if
you will. A true unity into which
we are introduced by Jesus and by His Spirit, as we are given authority to
become the children of God (Jn. 1:12).
So
marriage is important as an icon of the life and unity of God in our
world. It is an icon – a picture
window – into the bond and covenant that forms the unity of the Trinity!
IT
SIGNIFIES TO US THE MYSTERY OF THE UNION BETWEEN CHRIST AND HIS CHURCH
Paul,
in Ephesians 5, is clear that there is a direct correlation between the
institution of marriage and the union of Bride and Bridegoom that we read about
in scripture, between Christ and the Church.
Paul
is clearly talking about the relationship of a husband and wife in the same
terms as he speaks about Christ and the Church.
Submission
is obedience that is based on the love given and the respect that is earned by
a husband. One does not exist
without the other. These are
reciprocal realities. The
proverbial “two-way-street.”
From
the man’s side in the relationship come a love, like unto the sacrificial love
of Christ – the love that initiates the relationship, that pursues the beloved,
that sacrifices for her wellbeing, that “honors and keeps her, in sickness and
in health, and forsaking all others, is faithful to her as long as you both
shall live.” Remember those
words. That is what they meant!
From
the woman’s side in the relationship comes an enduring respect, based on the
experience of that kind of love!
The man in the marriage is to be the hero to his wife – the Imago Dei –
the image of God, the Father, the Provider, the Protector. If he is these things, then the respect
is a natural by-product.
The
problem is that we are fallen – we are broken! And so the image is broken and marred. But because it is marred is no reason
to discard it as we are in danger of today. Even marred the institution of marriage is the basic
building block of our society.
Let’s
look for a moment at God’s intentions for marriage:
INTENDED
BY GOD FOR THEIR MUTUAL JOY
I’ve
heard some say that that they have been happily married for X number of years –
out of X+ of marriage! We laugh
because we have all been there, or are there. Marital bliss is over-promised and under-delivered! So today, we have stopped promising it
for the most part. Half of all
marriages in our nation end in divorce.
In the church, sometimes its even more. With such a track record, many have simply given up on the
institution – given up on the idea of marriage. Many just decide to live together to see if they can do it –
live in harmony with one another, before making the “big” commitment.
This
places the proverbial cart before the horse! You see, the horse in marriage is the commitment to the
relationship – that promise to be “faithful till death us do part.” It is the power behind our coming together,
and without it we are in danger of wrecking our lives, especially if we get on
a downhill run – the end is usually the wagon ends up toppled and in shambles
or going off a cliff.
FOR
HELP AND COMFORT GIVEN ONE ANOTHER IN PROSPERITY AND ADVERSITY
No
one knows me like my wife! She is
my first line of defense, when I am hurting or confused, I ask her help and
prayers. Likewise, she asks me the
same. Assuredly we can go and do
go to others for advice, but that is all it is, advice. From one another we glean the words and
emotions we live by – a Word from God on occasion, and together we seek His
guidance for our life, our home, our children and our church.
We
are partners in this adventure! No
matter how it twists or turns:
Will
you love him,
comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health;
and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you
both shall live?
Were
you serious? Love, comfort, honor
, keep! Be faithful. All of these are action words that have
definite implications for our behavior along the pathway of our relationship,
day after day, month in, month out, year in, and year out.
Marriage
is the best picture we have, the best lab that we have, for what Peterson
called “a long obedience in the same direction!”
And
finally:
WHEN
IT IS GOD’S WILL, FOR THE PROCREATION OF CHILDREN AND THEIR NURTURE IN THE
KNOWLEDGE AND LOVE OF THE LORD!
Sex
has a purpose! Why do you think
that its so much fun? God created
it and purposed it for the creation of the species, the propogation of the
races and the population of the planet!
That is its most basic definition.
Today
our culture has corrupted it and contorted it into the reason for almost
everything, from the kind of car you drive to the kind of toothpaste or mouthwash
you use!
But
I just want to make one point here this morning about our sexuality. Ready?
If
sexuality is the fire, then marriage is the fireplace.
The
life long commitment of a man and a woman to be together in fidelity to one
another for the whole of their lives is the only proper place for the
expression of our sexual nature, because of the power that it has and because
of the destruction that it can wreck.
Fire
is a good thing, in its place at the center of the home, controlled and
contained in its proper place. It
is a great thing in fact! But let
the fire out of the fire box and it becomes something else.
It
is actually one of the most destructive forces known to man. And that is probably enough said about
FIRE. Friends, the parallels are
striking and frightening – sobering for our future in this culture.
Finally
I want to simply add that there is a difference between a long term
relationship and one that is purposed and blessed by God. I have married many, many people who
have been together for years, some who had their children first and then came
to me seeking a marriage.
WHY?
As
we explored those realities, what I discovered is that God has planted within
us both the capability and the unfulfilled need to have such a long-term, committed,
covenant relationship. Just as it
is a picture of the love of God for us, and the love of Christ for his Church,
it is the fulfillment of a part of our purpose in creation. Marriage is the vehicle that God
ultimately and deftly uses to fashion us into the people He has designed us to
be – if we are obedient and faithful to seek him in the midst of our marriage.
When
I do weddings, I often tell couples that the reason for the blessing of the
marriage is that this is something that Only God can do! Our best intentions fall short, just
like most of our lives. We all
“fall short” of the glory of God, Paul told us. It is only by His help and intervention in the course of a
marriage that we see marriages that last 10 – 25 – 50 or more years. Many here can testify to that fact.
Marriage
is not a magic formula, it is a life-on-life process, through which God forms
us into the kind of people we are meant to be – and then through which he uses
us, together, to bless the world.
Just as in the original covenant God made with Abraham, we are “blessed
to be a blessing” and “in us, all the nations of the earth, will be blessed.”
So
let us press into the design of God for our life-long relationships –
Into
His IMAGE as Male and Female, together for life and love.
Amen.
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